Namaste....I Wish

After a run, some ab exercises and free weights, I was so looking forward to my relaxing, inspirational yoga tape with Rodney Yee. I unroll my mat and all of a sudden I hear the pitter patter of paws romping down the hall. Bella appears into the room with the look of, "Is it play time????”

I unroll the mat and Bell decides to wrestle with it as I am desperately trying to lay it flat. She jumps on top of it, rolls underneath it and proceeds to play chew with the velcro straps. Finally, it is on the floor BUT it's not straight..it's crooked. My friends know how anal I am and I cannot let it lie. I move the mat very slowly with my foot but noooo, Bella thinks that's just another invitation to attack it.

Finally, I am ready to go.....I am going through the tape with no trouble until Rodney calmly instructs me to lie down onto the mat. I am thinking, “Oh joy! If I can only finish the rest of this tape with little interference from Bella…..I may feel relaxed and refreshed like Rodney assured me in the beginning of the tape."

Now picture this, if you will…my eyes are closed and I am lying on my back in the relaxation poise. My legs, hands, and arms are restful and “purposeful” (Rodney uses this word a lot in the tape). I am listening to his inspirational words and performing my deep breathing exercises. I am thinking, "This is great. I am calm, relaxed, my eyes are “soft” (he says that a lot too) I am so in the groove!"

So, I open my eyes and perfect, just perfect….there’s Bell from hell (all 8 pounds of her) staring down at me nose to nose.

She precedes to attack my face, licking my eye sockets, nose - every inch of exposed flesh. I am thrashing my head back and forth trying to move away from her. Well, what Rodney fails to tell you is, “How on earth can one be relaxed and “purposeful” when you have a dog licking you to death, wrestling with your arms, nipping at your hands and pouncing on your stomach.

Next thing I know, Rodney is in the sitting position, putting his hands together in prayer mode and chanting “Namaste.” Great, just peachy…. It’s the end of the tape. Thanks Bell.